When you are negotiating a better deal, either as a buyer or a seller, how often do you accept the first offer? The party offering has hit your target price (or is lower than you expect) and you say: “Yes”  without pause.

My partner Dany and I have found ourselves in that spot many times. The offer price turns out to be much lower than we expect and instead of shooting back a counter offer offer we accept.

For me, personally,  dickering doesn’t come easy and accepting the first, best offer, is an easy way to end an uncomfortable/uneasy transaction with a stranger. If the price is right – in my mind – I’ll  just accept and wrap up the transaction.  However, taking the easy way out – or simply being happy to be getting a great deal – might mean that the transaction didn’t go as smoothly as it seemed on the surface.

I’ve been reading a book called Secrets of Power Negotiating, Inside Secrets from a Master Negotiator by Roger Dawson. In his book he talks about how important it is for everyone in a negotiation to feel like they win.  And in the case of accepting the first offer – you leave the person on the other side of the negotiation feeling like they might have come out on the short end – in other words, not winning.

How can that be? They offered a price and you accepted it without trying to knock them down more. Why wouldn’t that be a perfect negotiation?

Roger suggests that when you accept the first offer, depending on which side of the deal you are on, you may feel either that you could have gotten more for the item – or, there is something wrong.

Let’s say you are the one making the offer and I quickly accept it – you are then left feeling like your offer was much too low and you could have received more for it. Or, let’s say I make you an offer for an item you have priced above my buy level and I make you what I consider a very low offer and you jump on it. I immediately start questioning my purchase. Was there something wrong with it? There must be, the price was too low and the seller was too quick to unload it on me.

The power of perception is strong. As an eBay seller I can think of two examples of where remembering to counter the first offer can be very beneficial.

First: As a buyer I go to many estate sales.  I have favorite professional estate sale companies I like to frequent. They host the kind of sales that have items I’m interested in buying, they price items fairly, they are the best organized or friendly. On the first day, first hour, there is not a lot of room to dicker prices – if you want a certain item(s) you get there extra early and pay full price. However as the day unfolds or on the second or third day of an estate sale everything is negotiable. On those days I should remember to counter their offers because if I accept their first offer I may be setting myself up for them to think “Oh, we could have made more money on that item. The next time we have one of these we’ll mark the price higher.”

Second: On the other side, as an eBay seller most of my items are sell as fixed price with a “Best Offer”.  Even if the haggling is not in person I shouldn’t forget to counter offer. It may be a little disheartening at first.  Over the last few years I’ve noticed many buyers will just send an offer and if I counter they don’t respond or worse yet – they decline.  I call them “Fishers” not really that interested, just fishing for my price. If you have the same experience as me then just forget them. It’s important to remember that there’s always someone else who wants what you have for sale. Don’t take the fist offer. Countering or refusing the first offer is especially important if the item has just been listed. Remember, if you are in too big a hurry to accept the offer your buyer may be wondering what’s wrong with the item. And with a used, or collectible item, you are setting them up to be hyper-vigilant and to micro inspect the item upon arrival.

For example I just sold a used bicycle transport case that I listed with a Best Offer. I did my research and found them selling for around $250 -300 at auction depending on what the seller was charging for shipping. The more the seller charged for shipping the closer they sold in the $250 range or less. The ones that sold closer to $300 were the ones offered with discounted or free shipping. So, I set my price at $325 – free shipping with a best offer. Within 24 hours I had several really low offers (under $200). One person even wrote me telling me that he could buy it new for $350 – he wouldn’t give me a dime more than $160.  I also received a few $200 offers.  One of these was from a guy on my side of the country (cheaper shipping). I sent him a counter offer of $300 – which he accepted.

The carrier is on the way to him now.  By not accepting his first offer – not only did I make my target price – my counter offer gave him confidence that there was nothing wrong, or unusual, about the item that would make it less valuable. As Roger Dawson writes; we both feel like we won in the transaction.

Next time you get one of those amazing offers you just want to jump at – remember to take a deep breath first – and make sure everyone feels like they are winning. Counter the offer with another. I plan on trying it. After all, I want everyone to feel like it’s been a win/win transaction!